Something I’ve always been since a young age is a terrible worrier. It’s just in my nature. As the years have gone by, it’s really taken it’s toll on me. I’ve felt physically ill and lay awake so many nights unable to sleep because of the stress. Worrying about the future has been a constant feature in my mind, and it’s something I’ve been trying hard to reduce over the last few years.
Not long ago, I was reading The Weirdest Thing About Being In Your Late Twenties by the lovely Sophie Cliff. She mentions how she feels her early twenties flew past, with a focus on having no money, rather than enjoying the years and what they had to offer. This really resonated with me. Now that I have the benefit of hindsight, I realise that I spent way too much time and energy during my late teens and early twenties worrying about the future.
I vividly remember worrying about whether I would ever find someone to settle down with. I mean, what if all my friends met lovely partners and I never found ‘the one’? Will I ever get married? What kind of career will I be able to get? Will I ever be able to afford a nice house? What if I end up stuck in a job I hate?
The list goes on. The ironic thing is that I look back, tell myself off for constantly asking these questions, rather than enjoying myself, and then go back to worrying about the future again. I don’t seem to learn do I?
As it turns out, there have been struggles, times of sadness and regrets over the last few years. But I did meet ‘the one’, I got married and had the most amazing wedding day and we’re about to move to a lovely house. So really, I worried about those things for nothing.
Some time ago, having had enough of worrying about everything all the time, I started to tell myself that life is easy. Sure, it felt like a lie at first. But in time, it’s helped me tremendously. It’s something I try to remind myself of whenever I find that I’ve fallen back into the trap of worrying about the future, of fearing the worst. It’s an important reminder to think positively and enjoy every day.
Living for the moment is so crucial to happiness and fulfilment. I don’t want to look back in many years to come and once again have regrets about the amount of time I wasted being fearful of the future, rather than relishing the good things that are already happening.
It’s an ongoing mission of mine, and I’m so glad that Sophie’s blog post once again reminded me of the importance of not worrying about the future. The last thing I want in many years to come is to feel that I’ve let life pass me by without really enjoying it.
So, here’s to learning from past mistakes, relishing the present and looking forward to the future.