Inspiration Lifestyle

Why being more selfish can be a really good thing

Jenny LuxeStyle

When we’re young, we’re taught that we should never be selfish. We must always share things with others, think of others first, and focus on making other people happy. Being selfish is immoral and something we should do our very best to avoid. However, as I’m getting older, I’ve come to realise that being more selfish can be a really good thing.

To me, thinking of others is very important, mainly because I want other people to be happy. But I think sometimes we are in danger of focusing too much on others, and completely forgetting to think of ourselves. When we constantly put the needs and wishes of others before our own, we start to neglect ourselves. Self-care and looking after own well-being needs to become more of a priority.

Women in particular have to juggle so much. Sometimes we feel like we need to be superwoman. We are expected to work hard, take care of our homes, cook meals and be responsible for looking after children, pets and goodness knows whoever else. It can all get a bit much.

Feeling the need to say ‘yes’ to everything we are asked to do can be damaging. A few months ago, I clearly fell into this trap. Not wanting to let anyone down and miss opportunities, I kept agreeing to take on more and more work. I was so tired and stressed, worrying how I was going to fit everything in. The realisation dawned that it had to stop. I had to stop feeling that I had no option but to say yes to everything.

Why I've found that learning to say no is so important

Learning to say no can be so hard, but sometimes it’s one of the best things we can possibly do to take care of ourselves. We need to stop worrying about letting others down and instead focus on our health, both mental and physical. It does us no good to be stressed and exhausted. In fact, it clearly does the opposite.

We can think we are being selfless by constantly trying to do more, so that we help others out. Ironically, the opposite is often the case. By taking more and more on, we completely run out of time to relax, de-stress and do whatever makes us feed good.

We all need to ensure that we find the time to wind down and recuperate and to relax both our minds and bodies. Also setting aside time to do things that nourish us and light us up is so important for our happiness.

When we are truly loving life, it shines through into all aspects of our lives

The truth of the matter is that by being more selfish, we are actually going to result in being more selfless. By starting to focus more on our own happiness, health and well-being, we are most certainly going to end up being much happier. Being more selfish can be a good thing, not just for us, but for others around us. When we are happier with much more energy, we are going to be so much more fun to be around. We will be more productive and get things done to a higher standard.

When we are truly loving life, it shines through into all aspects of our lives.

In a world where mental health issues are becoming increasingly common and everyone appears to feel exhausted and pressured, I feel that being more selfish is so important. Focus on yourself and your own happiness, and everyone else around you is sure to benefit greatly.

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18 Comments

  • Reply
    Shakira
    6th July 2017 at 18:42

    This post came a the perfect time for me and has really inspired me to take care of myself a little more so thank you!x

    SHAKIRA / SHAKIRA SACKS

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      9th July 2017 at 14:35

      I’m so glad you liked it lovely 🙂 Thanks so much for commenting x

  • Reply
    Jaz
    6th July 2017 at 22:40

    It’s bloody fantastic to not be as self-conscious and worried about what others think as I used to. I think by the time you’re approaching 30 you’ve already sussed out the people you want in your life and you can cut out negative people or those that don’t bring out the best of you so much easier. It’s easier to say no, not conform and just be you.
    Great post 🙂
    Jaz xoxo

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      9th July 2017 at 14:36

      Yes I totally agree! So much healthier too! Thanks so much for a lovely comment x

  • Reply
    Amanda
    7th July 2017 at 16:36

    Learning to say no is super difficult but so important. It’s something that I’m still struggling with! x

    rhymeandribbons.com

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      9th July 2017 at 14:43

      Yes it’s so difficult and definitely so important! x

  • Reply
    Abril
    8th July 2017 at 02:28

    Beautiful words, thank you so much for the inspiration
    x,abril
    The Color Palette

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      9th July 2017 at 14:45

      Thanks so much for your lovely comment x

  • Reply
    Gabrielle
    9th July 2017 at 00:02

    Such good advice! Saying no is absolutely key when life becomes hectic; and we only end up hurting ourselves and others more anyway by overcommitting! Hope you’re having a lovely weekend babe 🙂

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice x

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      9th July 2017 at 14:48

      Thanks so much lovely! Totally agree with you. Hope you’re having a lovely weekend too x

  • Reply
    abbeylouisarose
    9th July 2017 at 08:54

    I couldn’t agree more, Jenny! When I was in my late teens, I would never take time for myself or say no to helping anyone who asked because I was terrified of being selfish, but now I’ve grown up a little, I realise that looking after yourself is so incredibly important! You deserve to love yourself enough to say no when things don’t work for you, and to take the time to care for yourself – you can’t help others if you’re not in a good place yourself after all! Fab post and a great reminder!

    Abbey ❤️ http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      9th July 2017 at 14:49

      Thanks so much lovely! So very true Abbey – we all need to take care of ourselves more and get ourselves into a happy place first, so important x

  • Reply
    Kris
    9th July 2017 at 10:05

    I’ve started to realize the same thing myself!
    Have a great day!
    xx Kris

    https://dreamingofpink.wordpress.com

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      9th July 2017 at 14:51

      Thanks so much for commenting 🙂 x

  • Reply
    Wildfire Charm
    31st July 2017 at 15:29

    I love thinking from this perspective x Its not really selfish if it’s for self betterment x

    Pallavi
    http://www.wildfirecharm.com

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      1st August 2017 at 12:13

      Yes I agree – it’s so important. Thanks for commenting x

  • Reply
    Laura
    9th August 2017 at 19:01

    I couldn’t agree more with you! Learning how to say “no” is something I need to practice way more often.
    Lauraconteur ♥

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      14th August 2017 at 13:15

      I’ve found it to be so helpful in making me less stressed 🙂 Thanks so much for commenting x

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