Why learning to say no is so important

Recently, I’ve been ridiculously busy. I wrote back in December about how I manage to juggle everything, while still having time for myself. I’m good at planning in advance and managing my time so that I get lots done and also take the time out to relax. Things were going really well and I was happy with the pace of life I was living.

However, over the last month or so, things just got too much. This is mainly because I hate to say no to people. I hate turning down work, so I’ve kept agreeing to take more and more on. I don’t like to disappoint anyone or let anyone down.

Yesterday, I realised that I just can’t do it anymore. The last few weeks have been crazy. I’ve kept accepting every request that is sent my way, even when I’ve known in the back of my mind that squeezing yet another workload into my already busy schedule is going to make things difficult. But when something needs doing, I feel that I need to do it and do a damn good job at it while I’m at it.

There are no end of things to fit into my weeks. On top of my workload, there are family members that want Dan and I to visit them, our car needed servicing, there were appointments to attend, not to mention working on my biggest passion, this blog.

My blog started to turn from something that brings me so much enjoyment to being a chore. When you’re so busy, trying to find the time to work on something you usually adore can turn into what feels like another burden, the question of how to fit in writing and managing social media etc with everything else became an impossible task.

Well yesterday, everything changed.

I learnt that I need to start saying no, without feeling guilty. We need to start putting ourselves first, which is something I say all the time, and today I plainly saw that over the last few weeks, I hadn’t been listening to my own advice.

The countless requests and large workloads asked of me were too much, I knew they were, yet I wasn’t brave enough to admit it and to turn jobs down. I wanted to please everyone, regardless of how it was making me feel. It couldn’t go on a day longer.

So I made the change that was needed. I put it out there that I need to reduce my workload and when I received another long list of work being made available to me, I advised I couldn’t accept any new work.

Did I feel sad to be turning down a lot of work? Yes. Did I think of all the money I was waving goodbye to? Yes. Did I feel guilty for saying no? Yes. But knowing that it’s going to mean I’m not feeling exhausted and so stressed all the time makes it completely worth it.

Life is all about living and enjoying the moment, not rushing around every single day too busy and under pressure to be able to appreciate it. Taking on things you really don’t want to do and don’t have the time for isn’t going to make for a happy life – being selective about what you say yes to and commit to, on the other hand, makes for a much more enjoyable lifestyle. I know that, but sometimes it can be hard to put into practice.

Sometimes, I think we need to just take a moment to take a breather and to think of how much we’ve got going on in our lives, deciding what parts it might be a good idea to minimise or cut out and where we can start saying no to things in order to slow down. Our health, wellbeing and happiness are our main priorities, after all.

Maybe now is a good time to spring clean not just our homes, but every aspect of our lives. Clearing out the life clutter to make way for a more joyous and relaxed lifestyle.

 

 

24 thoughts on “Why learning to say no is so important

  1. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling overwhelmed over this past month, though hopefully this new approach to declining some offers may help you recover some balance! 🙂 Have a lovely weekend…

    aglassofice.com
    x

  2. I’ve recently realised this too. Life is too short to spend too much time doing something you dislike. And that also goes for blogging too, writing about what you love writing about! I like how you put it; not just spring clean our lives but also spring clean our homes!

  3. THIS POST IS SO IMPORTANT!! I am exactly the same as you, I am completely taken over by guilt if I say no to anything, which can often leave me frazzled and utterly exhausted! Your advice that life is about living and enjoying the moment is 100% true – you deserve to have a nice life with the opportunity to relax, treat yourself, and have me-time, and sometimes it’s hard to give yourself that privilege! Thank you for this reminder!

    Abbey 😘 http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

  4. I can identify with this so much! Although I think it’s definitely an accomplishment in itself that you’ve gotten to the point with your blog at which you even had to learn to say no! 🙂

    AVOCADO THEORY

  5. I also couldn’t agree more, I think saying “no” is also quite a modern concept and something that’s becoming more common and understood in a hectic world !! Best wishes!!

  6. I LOVE this, learning to say no to things is definitely one of the most liberating things you can do. I think it’s also important to realise, especially when it comes to social things, that half of the time the person asking you isn’t actually going to be that upset if you say no or even cancel (in fact they might even be secretly pleased as they’re probably busy themselves!).

    Claire | Vanity Claire xx

    1. Thank you so much! Yes I totally agree! I’ve had friends be really upset and feel terrible that they’ve had to cancel plans because they’re so busy but I’ve been struggling to be able to meet up with them anyway! x

  7. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do 🙌 Especially for a blogger! So many things to do! Some people don’t understand NO! You have to teach people the way you need to be treated! Priorities and boundaries are so important!

    🙌 Thank you for your insight!

    Hanna,
    http://www.bossbabesrule.com

  8. I use to be that person who always said yes to everything, but after a while that came back to bite me in the bum . .very very hard! Now, as selfish as this sounds, I think of myself, my needs and my life, how I’m feeling and etc. If I can do it, then by all means, I will. But if I can’t a simple but polite no, and I walk away. Self car is so important these days, and only you, yourself can manage and pave that right path.

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