Inspiration Lifestyle

Why learning to say no is so important

Why learning to say no is so important

Recently, I’ve been ridiculously busy. The last few weeks have made me realise that being able to say no is so important.

I wrote in DecemberΒ about how I manage to juggle everything, while still having time for myself. I’m good at planning in advance and managing my time so that I get lots done and also take the time out to relax. Things were going really well and I was happy with the pace of life I was living.

However, over the last month or so, things just got too much. This is mainly because I hate to say no to people. I hate turning down work, so I’ve kept agreeing to taking more and more on. I don’t like to disappoint anyone or let anyone down.

Yesterday, I realised that I just can’t do it anymore. The last few weeks have been crazy. I’ve kept accepting every request that is sent my way. Even when I’ve known in the back of my mind that squeezing yet another workload into my already busy schedule is going to make things difficult, I couldn’t say no. When something needs doing, I feel that I need to do it and do a damn good job while I’m at it.

There are no end of things to fit into my weeks. Recently, on top of my workload, there were family members that wanted Dan and IΒ to visit them, our car needed servicing, there were appointments to attend, not to mention working on my biggest passion, this blog.

My blog started to turn from something that brings me so much enjoyment to being a chore. When you’re so busy, trying to find the time to work on something you usually adore can turn into what feels like another burden. The question of how to fit in writing and managing social media etc with everything else became an impossible task.

Well yesterday, everything changed.

I learnt that I need to start to say no without feeling guilty. We need to start putting ourselves first, which is something I say all the time. Today, I plainly saw that over the last few weeks, I hadn’t been listening to my own advice.

Sometimes learning to say no is one of the most important things

The countless requests and large workloads asked of me were too much, I knew they were, yet I wasn’t brave enough to admit it and to turn jobs down. I wanted to please everyone, regardless of how it was making me feel. It couldn’t go on a day longer.

So I made the change that was needed. I put it out there that I needed to reduce my workload. When I received another long list of work being made available to me, I advised I couldn’t accept any new work.

Did I feel sad to be turning down a lot of work? Yes. Did I think of all the money I was waving goodbye to? Yes. Did I feel guilty for saying no? Yes. But knowing that it’s going to mean I’m not feeling exhausted and so stressed all the time makes it completely worth it.

Life is all about living and enjoying the moment, not rushing around every single day too busy and under pressure to be able to appreciate it. Taking on things you really don’t want to do and don’t have the time for isn’tΒ going to make for a happy life. Being selective about what you say yes to and commit to, on the other hand, makes for a much more enjoyable lifestyle. I know that, but sometimes it can be hard to put into practice.

Sometimes, I think we need to just take a moment to take a breather and to think of how much we’ve got going on in our lives. We can then decide what parts it might be a good idea to minimise or cut out and where we can say no to things in order to slow down. Our health, wellbeing and happinessΒ are our main priorities, after all.

Maybe now is a good time to spring clean not just our homes, but every aspect of our lives. Clearing out the life clutter to make way for a more joyous and relaxed lifestyle.

 

 

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31 Comments

  • Reply
    Gabrielle
    18th March 2017 at 15:22

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling overwhelmed over this past month, though hopefully this new approach to declining some offers may help you recover some balance! πŸ™‚ Have a lovely weekend…

    aglassofice.com
    x

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 20:41

      Thank you so much lovely. Yes it’s been such a weight off my mind! I’m feeling much more relaxed now thank goodness x

  • Reply
    Ella
    18th March 2017 at 19:07

    I’ve recently realised this too. Life is too short to spend too much time doing something you dislike. And that also goes for blogging too, writing about what you love writing about! I like how you put it; not just spring clean our lives but also spring clean our homes!

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 20:47

      Thank you! It totally is – we should focus on only doing what we love as much as we can πŸ™‚ x

  • Reply
    abbeylouisarose
    19th March 2017 at 12:22

    THIS POST IS SO IMPORTANT!! I am exactly the same as you, I am completely taken over by guilt if I say no to anything, which can often leave me frazzled and utterly exhausted! Your advice that life is about living and enjoying the moment is 100% true – you deserve to have a nice life with the opportunity to relax, treat yourself, and have me-time, and sometimes it’s hard to give yourself that privilege! Thank you for this reminder!

    Abbey 😘 http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 20:52

      Thank you so much lovely! I find it so hard but I’ve learnt the hard way! No more saying yes to things I don’t want to or can’t do! x

  • Reply
    Amelie
    19th March 2017 at 16:44

    I can identify with this so much! Although I think it’s definitely an accomplishment in itself that you’ve gotten to the point with your blog at which you even had to learn to say no! πŸ™‚

    AVOCADO THEORY

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 20:57

      I’m getting there slowly but surely πŸ™‚ Thank you so much for commenting πŸ™‚ x

  • Reply
    Vanessa
    19th March 2017 at 19:27

    I couldn’t agree more with this, we have to learn that its okay to say no. Great post!

    Vanessa x | http://www.springlilies.com

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 20:58

      Thank you so much! We really do because it’s so important x

  • Reply
    Rose Kirby
    19th March 2017 at 22:52

    I also couldn’t agree more, I think saying “no” is also quite a modern concept and something that’s becoming more common and understood in a hectic world !! Best wishes!!

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 21:02

      Yes and we’re all finally realizing that it’s okay and sometimes for the best to say no πŸ™‚ Thank you for the comment x

  • Reply
    Claire
    20th March 2017 at 13:14

    I LOVE this, learning to say no to things is definitely one of the most liberating things you can do. I think it’s also important to realise, especially when it comes to social things, that half of the time the person asking you isn’t actually going to be that upset if you say no or even cancel (in fact they might even be secretly pleased as they’re probably busy themselves!).

    Claire | Vanity Claire xx

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 21:03

      Thank you so much! Yes I totally agree! I’ve had friends be really upset and feel terrible that they’ve had to cancel plans because they’re so busy but I’ve been struggling to be able to meet up with them anyway! x

  • Reply
    LIsa Autumn
    20th March 2017 at 16:33

    I totally agree on this.. saying no is so important πŸ™‚

    xx Lisa
    lisaautumn.com

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 21:06

      Thank you πŸ™‚ It really is! x

  • Reply
    Adorngirl
    20th March 2017 at 19:36

    Seriously good for you! I love saying no, there is a power to it, becuase when you say yes, it means more.

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 21:09

      Thank you lovely! Yes that is oh so true!

  • Reply
    Rach
    20th March 2017 at 19:44

    I’ve been learning to say no as well. It still is tough because I don’t like letting people down but in the end, I learned that I also have to take care of myself as well! Such a great post!

    http://www.rdsobsessions.com

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      21st March 2017 at 21:10

      Thanks so much lovely! I always find it hard but I’m so glad I was finally forced to do it. We all need to prioritise ourselves more x

  • Reply
    Shakira
    21st March 2017 at 08:52

    This is such an important thing to remember and I think we’re all guilty of taking on too much in the modern world, I struggle so much to say no so thanks for reminding me that it’s sometimes a good thing!

    SHAKIRA / SHAKIRA SACKS

  • Reply
    Kerstin
    25th March 2017 at 09:26

    Couldn’t agree more! I’m really bad at saying no because I always feel so very selfish and bad. However, that’s something I definitely need to work on in the future.

    Love, Kerstin
    http://www.missgetaway.com/

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      1st April 2017 at 11:51

      Thank you lovely! That’s exactly how I feel and it makes me feel guilty but I know now I need to follow my gut x

  • Reply
    Hanna
    25th March 2017 at 20:58

    Sometimes you have to do what you have to do πŸ™Œ Especially for a blogger! So many things to do! Some people don’t understand NO! You have to teach people the way you need to be treated! Priorities and boundaries are so important!

    πŸ™Œ Thank you for your insight!

    Hanna,
    http://www.bossbabesrule.com

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      1st April 2017 at 15:07

      Yes there are so many things to do and everything can become too much! Definitely a good idea to start saying no and to lessen the workload πŸ™‚ Thank you for your fab comment x

  • Reply
    Cassie Maie
    25th March 2017 at 22:33

    I use to be that person who always said yes to everything, but after a while that came back to bite me in the bum . .very very hard! Now, as selfish as this sounds, I think of myself, my needs and my life, how I’m feeling and etc. If I can do it, then by all means, I will. But if I can’t a simple but polite no, and I walk away. Self car is so important these days, and only you, yourself can manage and pave that right path.

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      1st April 2017 at 15:08

      Yes I totally agree πŸ™‚ I used to find it so hard to say no but I’m finally starting to learn that it’s something that just has to be done. Thank you for the comment lovely x

  • Reply
    Carrie
    3rd April 2017 at 18:25

    I need to get better at this too! Although working for an organisation that actively discourages use of the word “no”, preferring us to take a “yes, if” approach instead. Drives me up the wall at times πŸ˜‚

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      9th April 2017 at 11:30

      Oh goodness, I think that would drive me up the wall too haha! I’ve started to love saying no now lol x

  • Reply
    Rainbow
    8th July 2017 at 16:27

    I feel ya! Saying no is really important!
    Glad you are feeling a bit better though πŸ™‚
    I recently wrote about the topic of being busy as well and how mindfulness has been a lifesaver for me.
    Ive been feeling so much better since I apply it.
    Love and blessings
    Rainbow

    • Reply
      LuxeStyle
      9th July 2017 at 14:46

      Thanks so much πŸ™‚ Yes I think mindfulness can be so helpful and it’s something I want to practice more often x

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