How to achieve body confidence in a world of constant comparison

I want to talk a little today about body confidence and how to achieve it. I hear so many people say on a regular basis that they hate parts of their body, and it makes me so sad.

Personally, I have struggled with my body confidence a great deal in the past. There are a lot of things about the way I look that I don’t like.

I think that getting a little older has helped with this. The thing is, we only have one body, so we might as well grow to damn well love it.

I could sit and constantly think about all the things about my body that I don’t like. What would be the point? It doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t alter my body in any way and it doesn’t magically make the parts I dislike disappear and come back anew. If anything, it makes the things I don’t like seem worse and it makes my self-confidence decrease.

Why spend time sad about the things you can’t change? What a waste.

If there’s something you don’t like, do something about it. If it makes you feel better, cover that part up and think of the parts of yourself you love and accentuate them.

I once heard Beyonce say in an interview that she doesn’t like her ears because she thinks they’re too big. Because of this, she wears big earrings to try to offset how big they are. Beyonce, the ultimate queen of pop, has got a hangup just like the rest of us, but she does something about it to make herself feel better. Do we all talk about how big her ears are? No, we talk about how amazing she is. We don’t notice that small niggle she has. Just like the chances are very high that other people don’t notice those things that you dislike about yourself that you constantly fret about.

What you see as imperfections might be the parts of you that other people love and wish they had themselves. I used to think I had bad skin, which was the complete opposite of flawless. However, when I got married, my makeup artist commented completely off the bat that I’ve got really good skin. I’ve also had friends previously comment that they wish they had great looking skin like mine. It just goes to show that what you see, isn’t what everybody else is seeing.

I used to watch Gok Wan’s TV show How to Look Good Naked. During the show, he would line up several women of various sizes and they would stand in order according to their dress size. The main participant of the show would then be told to put herself into where she believed she would fit in the line. Every single time, the participants would place themselves in completely the wrong places, always believing they were much larger than they actually were. They were always in shock when Gok would pull them out of the line and move them down past several ladies who were larger than them. Because we always see ourselves in a different way to how everyone else sees us, and this TV show proved time and time again that we are so hard on ourselves, when we really shouldn’t be.

We are so self critical. We look at ourselves every day, so obviously we’re going to scrutinize every single part of ourselves, notice things other people will never notice and critique every tiny part of ourselves. The ironic thing is that by doing that, we are ending up deciding we don’t like certain parts of our bodies. The amount of times I’ve heard someone say they wish they had someone else’s legs, arms, stomach, even eyelashes! The list is endless.

We always seem to want what we can’t have, the grass always appears to be greener, but that part of someone else you wish you had? They might just be thinking the same about you.

We are so guilty of feeling we need to compete with everyone all the time. Constant comparison has turned into an epidemic. Instead of comparing the way we look to everyone else, we need to embrace and celebrate our uniqueness and our beauty. The world would be a very boring place if we all looked the same.

Love yourself for who you are and for how incredible you are. Be like Beyonce – be too busy being fabulous to worry about what you see as your imperfections.

18 thoughts on “How to achieve body confidence in a world of constant comparison

  1. This was such an interesting post, and especially as I think it’s something we’ve all dealt with at some time or another! I agree that body hang-ups tend to decrease as we get older, and like you say, probably because we grow to accept and appreciate ourselves – and our bodies – more! Have a lovely weekend 🙂

  2. Getting older definitely helps with body confidence…Now I’m in my 30s i’m truly confident within myself which i wasn’t in my 20s and whilst i’m not perfect, I’m working hard towards my goals and as long as I’m happy and healthy that’s all that matters 🙂 xx

    1. That’s fab that you are feeling so much more confident. I found it so hard in my teens and early 20s, but now I’m finding I used to worry way too much! xx

  3. Such a lovely post!

    I remember this Gok Wans show and it was really beautiful… It is mostly about our mindset if we feel beautiful or not…

    Thank you for sharing!

    Have a lovely weekend!

  4. I love this post! I think we all need to take a step back to learn and realise how beautiful all of our bodies are!
    I feel sorry for the younger generations nowadays due to social media being part of the ‘norm’ for society. Instead of body shaming being just on magazines, it’s now everywhere you turn all because of social media and technology. x

  5. I think it’s so hard to accept yourself the way you accept others. I know I’m way more critical about myself than I am about how my friends look!

    Corine x

  6. This is such an interesting, and extremely necessary post! Body insecurity is something that is constantly at the forefront of many people’s minds, and it’s sad that society is often a trigger for this xx

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